My Podcast Space

Hey All,

I have started a podcast as well. You can listen to it here. Happy Listening!!!

Read More

My Podcast Space

Hey All,

I have started a podcast as well. You can listen to it here. Happy Listening!!!

Read More

Recent Reads ...

My Podcast Space

Record of Youth

This is a clip made by adding all my favorite shots of Episode 5 and 6. I always had a liking to far and wide shots :D. The captions are also mine.

Record of youth tells the story of an aspiring actor Sa Hye Jun and make up artist Ahn Jeong Hwa. A story about youth and dreams, brilliantly shot. The colors are all so pretty.

Give it a watch and let me know what you think :D

These Days…

When I came home this March with the TCS system, I never thought I will be staying here for this long. Almost 6 months have passed and the weekends on which I couldn’t wait to go home to Amma’s choru and sambhar seems like a distant thing in the past. This is truly a period of realization, a period of getting to know the people you call family with whom you haven’t been spending much time. With more and more time you spent, the essence of these people changes and may be one day we could finally say that we know them.

There are things you notice with time. Things like how my grandfather and grandmother have grown so old the time I was away from home, how telling Appa that he looks handsome still makes him smile and how his smile could still make my mother blush even after years of their marriage, how quarrels and fights all get resolved by the end of the day just by some cutesy acts or few words and how in family, we all take each other for granted and still get away with it. I learnt no matter how old we grow, there are habits that you couldn’t get rid of, things you couldn’t live with and beliefs no kind of logic could break through. At times, I find myself missing my old school days when happiness was my grandfather waiting for my school bus in the evening with a huge smile plastered over his face, the smell of grandma’s hot pazhampori on reaching home after a tired school day, the joy of opening packed lunches, faking illness on a rainy lazy monday and many more small simple things. I dig up memories and ponder on how all of us have changed over the years physically and mentally, trying to reason with the changing busy world.

 I wonder about things lost and found. I regret not enjoying the simplest of things by being carried away in the flow. And finally, I realise, the world could change so much in days that your biggest wish could become going out, sharing a warm meal with people you love, enjoying each bite sharing the stories of the day.

But I am grateful for this part of my life too, for this slice where I wake up to my mother’s nagging, enjoy home cooked food to my fill, be the cute adorable kid to my grandparents, fight and make up with my sister for everything as silly as a misplaced night-dress, explain logic in everything  irritating my parents and laze around on weekends without having to worry about going back to Kochi where there is no them. There are things new as well. Like how a  few days of staying home has turned my father into a farmer when he has never planted a sapling in his entire life, how he gets so excited to see a rat caught in the rat trap he set the previous evening, how my mother who could barely sent a mail has become a pro in attending zoom meetings and discussions. I was even lucky enough to witness my father along with my grandmother seriously engrossed in a Malayalam serial. We, cousins organise watch parties to cheer each other on a bad day. We call up friends from long ago and check up on them in this time of insecurity and loneliness. We, unlike any other time is finally there for each other. The distance has brought us all closer than we could ever imagine. It has taught us love in a way we could never fathom. 

May be all of us needed a way back home, a journey to trace back our roots and a home to rest our thoughts. May be this is the time to think it all through and the world needed it too. So here I am laying my thoughts to rest and enjoying each day as it passes by, trying to find beauty. Here I am waiting for a better tomorrow than today.

Things I miss at Home

I remember waiting for weekends to go home to amma’s choru and sambhar. But now that I am home for months, i can’t help thinking about going back. It’s not that I don’t like it here. I do. But there is this weird sense of freedom that I miss which I was not even aware existed.

1. I miss making chaya without worrying about the right pathram(utensil) or the correct amount of sugar which seems to be passed down through generations.
2. ‌I miss sleeping very very late and waking up even late.
3.‌I miss feeling hungry and have lost all my ‘I eat when I feel like eating moments’ to ‘You eat when I tell you to eat’ moments. Hungry or not – You follow mom’s time table.
4. ‌There is nothing called a peaceful cooking experiment. You get ridiculed for everything including how two sliced carrots don’t look like identical twins. ( A birth secret, May be.. Sh..Sh)
5. ‌I miss littering my clothes around and finding the perfect day to fold them. Here, it’s Do or Die. Either you do them or leave them to the goddess of fire.
6. ‌I miss how my mother’s and grandmother’s eyes twinkled when I visited home on alternate weekends. They do glitter now and then these days, but I am not exactly sure about the feelings behind.
7. ‌I miss calling home on a bad work day. Now that I am working from home, shut in a room, it seems like there is no job as easy as mine. Hard luck😶.

‌These days I dream about living alone in a place with a thick bed, a table, a box full of books, occasional cooking experiments and chaya. I dream about having a space of my own. But I know, once I am there, I will rush over every other weekends to all Amma things. It’s weird how I wish for two opposite things just the same not knowing where my heart lies. I am torn between home and a home away from home.

മനുഷ്യന് ഒരു ആമുഖം – സുഭാഷ് ചന്ദ്രൻ

കഴിഞ്ഞ birthday-ക്ക് എന്റെ ഓഫീസ് ഫ്രണ്ട്സാണ് ‘മനുഷ്യന് ഒരു ആമുഖം’ എനിക്ക് gift ചെയ്തത്. 400-ൽ അധികം പേജുള്ള  പുസ്തകത്തിനെ , നാല് ഭാഗങ്ങളായി  തിരിച്ചാണ് മനുഷ്യജീവിതത്തെക്കുറിച്ച് കഥാകാരൻ എഴുതിയിരിക്കുന്നത് എന്ന് കേട്ടിരുന്നു. പക്ഷേ കുറച്ച് പേജുകളിൽ, കുറച്ച്     വാക്കുകളിൽ നിസ്സാരമായി കുറിക്കാവുന്ന ഒന്നാണോ ജീവിതം?. 

സംശയങ്ങളൊക്കെ മാറ്റി വച്ച് വായിച്ചു തുടങ്ങി. ജിതേന്ദ്രൻ എന്ന മനുഷ്യനെ കേന്ദ്രീകരിച്ച് മനുഷ്യനെയും അവന്റെ മറച്ചുപിടിക്കാനാവാത്ത സമാനതകളെയും,വികാര വിചാരങ്ങളെയും കഥാകാരൻ വരച്ചുകാട്ടുന്നു.ഒരേ സമയം അത് ജിതേന്ദ്രന്റെയും മനുഷ്യന്റെയും ആ കാലഘട്ടത്തിന്റെയും കഥയായിത്തീരുന്നു. തുറന്നുപറച്ചലിന്റെ ഒരു കുമ്പസാരകൂട്ടിലെന്ന പോലെ മനുഷ്യന്റെ വ്യർത്ഥാഭിമാനങ്ങളെയും, പൊള്ളത്തരങ്ങളെയും, സ്വഭാവവൈകല്യങ്ങളെയും അതിന്റെ തിളങ്ങുന്ന പുറം കീറി കഥാകാരൻ  പുറത്ത് കൊണ്ടു വരുന്നു. ഒടുവിൽ, പൂർത്തിയാക്കാനാവാതെ ശ്യൂനത സംവഹിച്ച് മരിച്ചുപോയ ഒരാത്മാവ് ബാക്കി വച്ചതിന് കാലങ്ങൾക്കപ്പുറം ഉയിർപ്പിന്റെ ഒരു മൂന്നാം നാൾ ഉണ്ടാവും എന്ന  പ്രത്യാശയിലാണ് നോവൽ അവസാനിക്കുന്നത്. എന്നെ സംബന്ധിച്ചിടത്തോളം ഒരു പാട് ചോദ്യങ്ങളും ഉത്തരങ്ങളും അതിലേറെ തിരിച്ചറിവുകളും നല്കി ഒരു മനുഷ്യന്റെ ജീവിതത്തിന് പൂർണ്ണമെന്നോ അപുർണ്ണമെന്നോ വിധിക്കാനാവാത്ത ഒരാമുഖം തന്നെയാണ് ഈ നോവൽ.

 ഇതിനപ്പുറം ഭാഷാഭംഗിയും detailing -ഉം വളരെ മനോഹരമായി തോന്നി. ഒരാളുടെ ജനനം മുതലുള്ള കാര്യങ്ങൾ ജീവിതാനുഭവങ്ങൾ ആണെങ്കിലും അല്ലെങ്കിലും ഇത്രയും വിശദമായി പകർത്താൻ കഴിയുക എന്നത് സുഭാഷ് ചന്ദ്രൻ എന്ന് എഴുത്തുകാരന്റെ വൈഭവവും സമർപ്പണബോധവുമാണ് എനിക്ക് കാണിച്ചു തന്നത്.

ആസ്വാദനം വായനക്കാരന്റെ സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യം ആയതിനാൽ അതിൽ കൈകടത്തുന്നില്ല. നിങ്ങളുടെ അഭിപ്രായങ്ങൾ വ്യത്യസ്തമായിരിക്കാം. ഞാനെന്ന വായനക്കാരി പൂർണ്ണ സന്തുഷ്ടയാണ്.അതു കൊണ്ടുതന്നെ വായിക്കാത്തവർക്ക് ഉറപ്പായും  list ചെയ്യാവുന്നതാണ്.   

Dil Bechara

Dil Bechara is a Hindi movie based on John Green’s ‘Fault in Our Stars’. This is also actor Sushant Singh Rajput’s last Film. Noting down, how I liked it. A short review, perhaps.

Million Yen Women

100 million yen women is a Japanese series based on a Manga by Shunju Aono and is currently available on Netflix. This is my first ever Japanese drama and I decided to watch it because of the description given. Looking back, there are still some …

Million Yen Women

Million Yen Women

100 million yen women is a Japanese series based on a Manga by Shunju Aono and is currently available on Netflix. This is my first ever Japanese drama and I decided to watch it because of the description given. Looking back, there are still some questions left unanswered and chances for doubt, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching this and the show really got me curious on ‘What Next’. This is a really short series and if you have 6 hours to kill, I say, It’s worth a watch. Still, liking or not liking it would entirely depend on your taste, so no comments on that.

It’s impossible to give a review on this series without giving out spoilers, so decided just to give out a setting of the series and the questions that come with it.

So here goes…

The story revolves around Shin Michima and 5 mysterious women. All of them claim to have received an invitation and comes to stay with the writer in his huge house. However, The invitation was not send out by the house owner Shin. Nothing about the invitation is revealed except 4 rules to be followed while staying together

  • Questioning the women is prohibited.
  • Entrance to women’s room is prohibited.
  • Everyone must eat dinner together
  • The writer should look after all the women.
  • Each of the tenants have to pay a million yen as the rent at the end of each month.

In addition, every morning the writer receives a threatening message through fax. From the first few minutes of the episodes, we are flooded with a lot of questions and left curious.

It’s hard to tell where the story is heading , each episode and the flow of the story line takes you by surprise. It begins of in a ‘Slice of Life’ narration style and familiarizes us with the protagonist and his current life style. At some points, we are often left the judge of many of the writer’s internal conflicts. So basically, instead of forcing you to believe something, the drama leaves you with the power to decide for yourself the right or wrong.

It also throws light on how external appearances has nothing to do with character, how something not familiar with the society is often thought useless and takes immense amount of work, dedication and somebody who believes in you to finally get the recognition that it deserves.

So winding up, this is not your regular ‘Easy To Figure Out’ drama. It’s calm and loud , warm and cold at the same time. For me, the ending part (last few minutes) was a bit boring, but that was the healing part as well. May be, it is easy to be happy. All we need to do is not to bother about other people’s success, but to be happy with your own, to be satisfied with our own pace.

Bonus Image:

Note: The chemistry between the 6 is real good :D. Even though the writer doesn’t know anything about their personal lives, the writer feels like the girls could see right through him.

Reply 1994 and How it teaches Life…

I have been hearing splendid reviews about the reply series ever since I entered the K-drama world. It sure took me long to sit down to watch one and I regret not watching it earlier. The story revolves around the life of a few students in their 20’s, most of them from the countryside moving to Seoul for college and living together in a boarding house in Sincheon. The story is about friendship, love, family and about the generation that passed by while they were living together.

There might be a lot of reviews giving you spoilers as well as the main plot online, so I am just noting down how the drama relates to and answers many of our questions and confusions we face in twenties…

1. A Place to Belong

An unfamiliar city and it’s people could be the worst of fears for people coming from the countryside. The drama tells us how a place where we could feel home is important in our hard times, a place that could make us feel safe, a place that you could always turn to.

2. ” The reason your heart skip is still love”

The drama tells you even for a generation undergoing drastic changes, from analog to digital, from pagers to cellphones, from trends and to new trends, the reason the heart skips a beat is still love. It says even amidst all chaos and confusion. youth is awkward and simple and that one person could still bring butterflies.

3. A Love taken for granted

Sometimes we get used to a person that everything they do seems to be a given. As time passes by, we take them for granted and become less thankful and sorry every day. The drama teaches us even with such people love should be expressed, apologies and appreciations to be made before it’s too late. After all, Only love can repay love, only sincerity can move hearts.

4. Of All the Choices Made

Life is all about making choices and we are made to choose every moment. Each moment is the result of the countless choices made in the past and all those choices together make us who we are today. There is no choice without regrets and the drama consoles us pointing out there were no right answers to begin with. And further lets us on the key to living life happily without regrets; To believe all our choices were right.

5. “It’s Okay to take your time”

With the world rushing forward, many times, we get dragged along the crowd, not knowing what to do. You feel like you are the only one lagging behind, not knowing the direction you should take but the drama tells us it’s okay to not know, it’s okay to take your time to figure out what you really want. It asks us to listen to our shy delicate heart that hide deeps within, silencing our words and thoughts until it pops out on it’s own.

6. “It ain’t over till it’s over”

They say, “To succeed, you must endure pain for more than 10,000 hrs”. Instead of waiting for a good fortune, one must put in endless efforts and go through hardship, even for relationships and love.Ha..What is love if not the effort we put in?. It ain’t over till it’s over.

7. “A Dream is just a Dream”

Chasing your dreams triumphing over given circumstances is a truly fabulous thing to do but the drama teaches not to beat yourself over a lost dream, not to lose confidence over some dramatic success stories. It points out how it is not easy to step over someone we love, that giving up means those people were important as much as your dreams.

8. To the Last of things

Finally. the drama talks about how goodbyes are sad even with people we just met, how every last time leaves us in tears. It reminds the importance of cherishing every moment like it is the last, because we never recognize the last of things and regret letting it pass by without notice.

This drama successfully takes us back to the X-generation, their friendship, love, hardships and many more. And may be, human’s irrespective of the time zone, are all so similar beyond doubt. That’s it.



Thappad – Not Just A Slap!

I can’t remember the last time my chest felt this heavy after watching a movie and I sit down, trying to note down the scenes that moved me and I can’t narrow it down to scenes. It’s much more.

Just how amrita says, it’s not just a slap, I think this movie is not just about a slap. It is about numerous things that we not just see but notice everyday, but purposefully ignore for our own convenience, peace of mind. For me, it was not about how a man treats a women, but also about how women treat one another, the beliefs that grow up and grow with us, the idea of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ , implanted and nourished within. And by the end of the movie, I am left with a whole lot of questions, flooded with a whole lot of emotions and above all, I am drowned in guilt.

All through the movie, I kept on seeing women around me, how everybody including me, keep on taking advantages of their choices or the choices they think they had or made. I question the definition of happiness, I wonder if the definition was ever theirs to begin with. I feel sad at the hopelessness, how at some point of their life they were brainwashed to believe their happiness lie in somebody else’s happiness.I feel bad that now even they don’t understand what they need, how they have been programmed to be somebody they never were. And I realise, I too occasionally, nop.. frequently is making use of some weird label somebody have given them. And I feel guilty and i remain guilty changing nothing, because somewhere deep inside, even I find it convenient to believe that it was their choice and to an extent, I feel right. May be that’s what everyone of us think. May be that’s what Vikram thought.

And that’s when Amrita tells us, it’s not okay. Amrita tells us you too deserve respect and happiness, that no matter the gender, everybody do. Amidst the silence, even a small voice could be loud enough to knock people back to their senses, to let people around you know that everyone else and you deserve better. And for me, Amrita was that voice.
Thanking the whole team for the wonderful experience!!!