You are not in love with me, are you?

You are not in love with me, are you?

“You are not in love with me, are you?”, He asks me with his mischievous smirk.

Really not the best time to ask, I think to myself. I am dressed in glorious red, a color that could equally mean pain and passion. I am like a house lit up for diwali not really sure how to handle the inevitable darkness that follow.

I just smile. I am not sure if it is love or the feeling of not being ready. May be it’s just fear of being send to some unknown place with a person I barely know that makes me want to hold on to anything familiar. You, for instance. The familiar smile the familiar touch, the familiar smell – it makes me want to stay, to think about it a bit more, to explore.

I know it’s selfish.I know it’s not your baggage to deal with. But you know there are times you really wish the other person would wait until you sort it all out, sometimes you really want to take a break and concentrate on just one thing and then move on to another. But does life really happen that way? Does anything wait?.

So today, I gaze into your eyes and say nothing. I take in that glow in your eyes, (probably the reflection from all the gleaming celebratory lights) and leave it to time to decide what to call us – friends, lovers or just two people who were supposed to meet and part at some point of life.

May be we will meet sometime later. May be this is the halfway point where people believe it’s all over but the story continues for another half. Or may be sometime in the future, thinking back, you might label me as your first love and me you. Who knows? Who knows what our story would be?